Archive for Lose Yourself

Going the Extra Mile

Posted in All, Economics, Miscellaneous with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 7, 2010 by marushiadark

“Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment, would you capture it? Or just let it slip?”  ~ Eminem, Lose Yourself

It’s funny how the universe seems to provide you with exactly what you need in your darkest moments once your mindset becomes corrected.  Here I was, sitting up at three o’clock in the morning wondering what the hell I’m gonna write about today when, lo and behold, the universe showed me the way.  I didn’t ask for it, but I got it all the same because I knew now that I needed to right what I felt was a particular outstanding wrong.

I never considered myself to have come from a very privileged family, and yet I know there’s a great many things that I have to be thankful for.  After my last post, I’m sure there are a lot of people who would look at what I wrote and think, “Oh, that’s some wishful thinking, but what do you know about me and my problems?  Have you ever lived in a trailer park working two jobs to feed your three kids?  How am I supposed to focus on things like love and vacation?  You don’t know shit about what I’m going through.  You’re just another spoiled person talking crap.”

The truth is, I don’t know what it’s like to live that life, so I’m sorry if you read that and felt insulted by my nonchalant attitude.  I can really only speak from my own experiences and those I’ve shared with others.  But that doesn’t mean my words don’t still hold some truth to them.  I know, in many ways, I do act like a spoiled little rich kid at times.  And it’s true, that I could probably never understand the lives of people who’ve had it a lot worse off than me.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t try.

“The road to heaven goes through hell.” ~ Unknown, allusion to Dante’s Divine Comedy

So I was sitting in the living room watching TV when the movie 8 Mile came on.  I had never seen it, but I’d always wanted too, since I enjoy a lot of Eminem’s work (I didn’t as a kid, but I do now as an adult).  I think his music has some very inspiring messages that come from the heart.

For those of you who’ve seen it, I think the movie is a perfect example of what I said in my last post and how those that have it a lot worse off than me can still take it to heart and apply it to their own situations.

For those who haven’t seen the movie, Eminem plays this guy Rabbit who lives with his mom in a trailer park in Detroit.  His car doesn’t work, he’s about to lose his job, his mom is about to be evicted, his girlfriend tells him she got knocked up, and the man his mom is seeing is a real asshole to the family.  If that wasn’t bad enough, things get even worse for him as the movie goes on.  His new girlfriend is cheating on him with his friend, he has a reputation for being a chicken at the local clubs, his mom throws him out of the house with his daughter in tow, and he gets beaten up by a gang of local thugs.

That probably sounds a lot more like what some of you are probably used to seeing and dealing with.  I’m sure a lot more people can relate to that lifestyle if you couldn’t relate to my last post.

But it’s not all bad news.  Just when he’s at his lowest and about ready to give up, he pushes past it all and things begin to turn around for Rabbit.  The abusive guy leaves, his mom wins enough money at bingo for them to keep the trailer, Rabbit and his daughter move back in, his boss offers him some extra shifts, his girlfriend comes back to him, his friends come back to support him, and he begins to develop more courage and street credit with his rhymes.

He may not have been rich or outrageously successful, but Rabbit was at least able to pull himself out of the hell hole he was in and give himself and his daughter a better life.  He was able to do this because he stayed focused on his dream and the things that really mattered to him; and as a result, he drew strength and motivation from it that allowed him to do the work needed to see him to the end.  If he can do it, so can we all, I think.

“Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.  True humility is the only antidote to shame.” ~ General Iroh, Avatar: The Last Airbender

At the beginning of 8 Mile, Rabbit found himself engaged in a rap battle in which he couldn’t handle the pressure and wound up choking on stage.  He lost the battle and his reputation with it, even though all his friends built him up as being a great improv rapper.  The shame he felt made his dream of becoming a rap star seem impossible and so he began to lose passion.  This plunged him into a downward spiral until he found himself, literally, at rock bottom.

Once you’ve hit rock bottom, though, there’s no where to go from there but up.  So with nothing to lose, Rabbit took a chance and reinvested himself in the things that he loved most in the world and he was subsequently amazed at how quickly his luck began to turn around.  By the end of the movie, he found himself in another series of rap battles, but he embraced his reality for what it was and wound up winning.  He took every negative thing about his life and turned it on his opponent, robbing him of the chance to use it against him.  He had overcome his shame with true humility and became more powerful for it.

In my own life, I’ve been put in many situations for which I, too, am ashamed.  For one thing, you may recall me saying how my mom, at one point, supported our whole family.  Well, during that time, she had to pay both the mortgage and a Parent PLUS Loan she’d taken out for me to go to college.  One thing for which I felt immensely ashamed was that I was the one who helped put our family in such a negative financial position.  Day in and day out, I watched our family struggle to make ends meet.  Worse still, there were no jobs available to me or my dad, so I had to work for small change at my neighbor’s catering company.  Worst of all, for about the last year I was in college, I had lost passion for what I was studying and didn’t want to have anything to do with it anymore, so it was all a complete waste of money.  And it was all on me.

I still finished my degree of course, and it wasn’t a total waste of time either, since I had many great and unique experiences while there that made me who I am today; but that all paled in comparison to what I put my family through and the shame I felt about not being able to use my degree.

For a year after college, I carried that around with me, wondering how I would ever pay her back and still live a life of anything but working to pay my debts.  And who would want to even associate with someone in such a bad position as me, who could love someone that did that to their family?  But I remained true to the things that I was passionate about at the time; and soon, slowly but surely, a way out began to reveal itself and I followed it through.  I had hit the bottom and used it to push myself back up and began crawling my way towards the surface of the water once more.

So while I may not be the worst off person in the world, I hope that, for those of you less fortunate than I, you were able to take something out of this post of mine.  And I hope that you’re able to pick yourself up from the ground, dust yourself off, and go on to do what you love doing and be abundantly rewarded for it.

Peace.